tailgatejoe big mac attack sauce

Joe’s Mac Attack Sauce

by Joe on September 24, 2009

Ok, Mcdonalds is the most popular restaurant in the world. This isn’t an opinion, it’s a fact. It just boggles the mind that a place bigmacattacksauceselling that kind of stuff can be worth billions, but sure enough, the fatties pile in daily. The key isn’t in the burger, its in the condiments. The best thing about Mcdonalds (other than the fries, duh) is the sweet and sour nugget sauce and the special sauce they slather on the big mac. Well, my Mac Attack Sauce is based on that and I think is very close to the real deal. This sauce fucking rocks! It goes great on burgers naturally, but it goes just as well as a fry dip, on sandwiches, and even on nipples. Yeah, that’s right, this stuff makes a great sex condiment, but for topical use only. Consider yourself warned, get any of this in any spots a doctor needs a flashlight to see and you will end up with an infection like those pictures they showed you in sex education to scare you off, trust me, been there done that.


  • 1 cup miracle whip
  • 1/3 cup sweet relish
  • 1/4 cup french dressing
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon minced onion

Directions so easy even a cave man, or a Steelers fan, can do it!

  1. Dump everything into a bowl
  2. Let it sit in the fridge for at least an hour so everything mingles nicey nice
  3. Slather it on anything you think this might work with and enjoy!

I like to keep a squirt bottle of this stuff in my fridge for sandwiches and impromptu “9 1/2 Weeks” moments.

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